Novemeber 05'
(A breakthrough moment that some hardship in my life had brought me to at about 1:00am in Shari's while eating coffee and pumpkin pie alone.)
"Abondonment and betrayal are painful triggers because my mother abondoned and betrayed my father~ in a truly awful way; Abducting me as a child and leaving my father in dark for 20 years. I had forgiven her for much of the other things that she had done to me throughout my life in this 2nd journey starting this past year. However I had omitted this hurt, strangely. Maybe it was pain by proxy. I had pondered if my father would be the man he is today with the addiction and wounds had she not caused so much pain.
I guess you can never answer a question like that, more importantly, you cannot blame addiction on others- it is a personal choice. Sure sometimes it is almost made for us, but even then it is an act of will, even if we only own a smaller piece of it. "
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