Thursday, November 24, 2005

Journal Excerpt

I thought occasionally I would add some excerpts from my journals in the case any of you could relate or be stirred.


Novemeber 05'
(A breakthrough moment that some hardship in my life had brought me to at about 1:00am in Shari's while eating coffee and pumpkin pie alone.)

"Abondonment and betrayal are painful triggers because my mother abondoned and betrayed my father~ in a truly awful way; Abducting me as a child and leaving my father in dark for 20 years. I had forgiven her for much of the other things that she had done to me throughout my life in this 2nd journey starting this past year. However I had omitted this hurt, strangely. Maybe it was pain by proxy. I had pondered if my father would be the man he is today with the addiction and wounds had she not caused so much pain.
I guess you can never answer a question like that, more importantly, you cannot blame addiction on others- it is a personal choice. Sure sometimes it is almost made for us, but even then it is an act of will, even if we only own a smaller piece of it. "

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