Don't Make Me Quit You Jesus

Psychology has finally helped me to understand that God is just a figment of my imagination. My inner Id's need for a father. Jesus my need for a role model. The Bible is great science fiction that is too wild to have ever happened. From now on this blog will be dedicated to a a form of zen like atheism. I now see it is the only way. Thank you Sigmund Freud for showing me that there is no reality. Thank you Charles Darwin and Carl Sagan for showing me that the world and the universe are just one big chain of accidents hewn out of billions of years of chance. (Okay maybe trillions.) Thank you Hugh Hefner for showing me that hedonism and the sensuality of the moment is all there is to live for. Thank you Hollywood and Nashville for providing the fantasy I need to cope with this new empty truth. And finally I thank myself for patiently enduring the years of repressed thinking, fantastical hopes and dreams, tangents of idealism and never ending hypocrisies. My magnanimity knows no bounds. I never needed anyones help, there really were no problems I needed to admit to. If I would have just kept doing the same thing I am certain different results could have been achieved.

LOLcat Bible

Teh Holiez Bibul (The Holy Bible) LOLcat wiki.

LOLcats are Laugh Out Loud captions with poor hacker/text message style grammer attached to photos of cats. This site has used colaborative input to create a humourus adaptation of the Bible.

While many may see this as anathema or sacreligious and be offended. I have to point out that 1) Those who author this have to read it and understand it. 2) For some it may be the only time they actually absorb some of the ideas contained there in.

This quote from the gospel of Matthew chapter 14:

25. OK so iz liek teh nites and Jesus camez out, and he iz srsly wlking ontop teh waterz.

26. Teh dscpls sawed him and ar scured and tehy sayed "OMG haxx!"

27. But Jesus sez "Oh hai! Iz just me. lol."

28. "Hay dood," sez Peter, "I can comez ontop teh waterz plz?"

29. "Yah lol," sez Jesus. Peter comez ontop teh waterz and iz goes to Jesus.

30. But Peter sawed teh windz and he iz scured and he fallz in teh waterz and is liek "Halp!"

31. Jesus halps Peter and sez "U iz stoopid noob becuz u duznt beleev."

I love Jesus, I love the Bible, and I am entertained by the creativity and humor of this.

Attitude is Part of It.

Via Don Piraro at bizzaro.com

How To: Man Hug

VideoJug: How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

Spoiler:

BUT HE LIVES AGAIN!

via Dan Piraro bizarro.com

Great Quotes:

"The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 P.M. Please use the back door."

Stop Saber Abuse